Capturing Essence: I’ve been going through a process of shedding an old survival strategy – playing the victim. My victim is the part of me that wants to drag me down, deplete me, play nice and lose my lifeforce in other people’s projects and needs.
Once I really spotted her and dug in, a lot of things started changing in my life. As I valued myself more deeply, my choices, boundaries, appearances and wants changed. After a period of shifting, I felt inspired to make a photoshoot that translates and honors the process I’ve been transforming through. I decided to create a photo shoot where I would be focusing on capturing my essence, my deep core of femininity, power, sensuality and rawness.
Playing the victim is ultimately a survival strategy I encountered early in life. I have been playing that role consciously and unconsciously in so many ways, that at first I couldn’t even see or feel that I was playing a victim. I was so used to feeling scattered, ungrounded, anxious, talkative, neglected and depleted that I wasn’t even aware it all was attached to a persona. I had basically accepted the victim as being who I am, and I found ‘safety’ in hiding behind this mask.
What a suffocating, yet also relieving process to go beyond the victim and discover my immense power. Waving Goodbye to my victim, drops me into my Queen-ness, almost instantly. My Queen-ness is the opposite of my victim. In my Queen-ness, I stand my ground, I’m truth-calling, strong, yet loving and embracing. I feel free, I feel focused – I feel me.
Playing with nudity was another big step for me. When the idea first occurred, my mind went: what’s the point? Why do it? Who do you think you are.. and so on. I hesitated for a bit, then chose to go with my idea and desire for a photoshoot including nudity. The outcome was a much more raw and present photo shoot. I had little desire to smile, to please. Yet I felt a lot – embodied myself deeper during the photo shoot itself. And I love embracing my sensual self, which is a huge aspect of my essence.
There are many ways to play with embodiment. Photoshoots happen to be a very confronting and powerful tool. Watch my transformation in the gallery below.
Now, I would love to hear from you. What’s your experience with photoshoots? How does my photoshoot inspire or trigger you? Do you know your strongest survival strategy? If yes, what’s the opposite of your survival persona? And lastly, how can you play with shifting your body and mind into this new being?
Photographed by Raya.